and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
