I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
