Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
