I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
