I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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