I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
