She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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