So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
