Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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