return my video game
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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