Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
