You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
