It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize