"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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