how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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