Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
