alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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