thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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