seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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