I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize