Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
