The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
