his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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