Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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