I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
