If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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