u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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