There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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