I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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