So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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