My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
