I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
