loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
