fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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