I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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