i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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