I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
