dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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