saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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