they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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