What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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