I need help removing her.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
