I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
