You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
