he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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