I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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