today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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