let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
