no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
