There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
