he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
