I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
