It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
