I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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