I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
