it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
