TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
