I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
