no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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