I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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