my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
