You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
